So many promises, so little time

I know I promised more pictures today, but I have an excuse, truly I do. Actually, I have many excuses.  Ok, jumping right to the back page. CaDiva and I are currently sitting in the game room of a 45-year old B&B built after the style of a Bavarian Inn. Apparently, in addition to sloping floors and wood beamed ceilings, Bavarian Inns are known for no internet access in the rooms, shared bathrooms, and not a television in sight. I doubt the location and driveway have anything to do with Bavarian architecture, but as CaDiva's old friend DHL would say, it all comes back to Hitler.

So here is the tale I will tell in the 30 minutes I have left on this battery charge. We left Niagara in a timely fashion, to clear skies and full cups of coffee. Originally, we tried to program Jillian to Weston, Vermont. Unfortunately, Jillian doesn't know where Weston is. So we programmed her for Rockingham. Not so much because we wanted to go to Rockingham, after all, the Vermont Country Store in Rockingham is way too modern. But it is in Vermont and how much different can it be. I mean Vermont isn't in one of those big square states or anything.

So back to my story, Jillian shortly turned us off I 90 to the scenic by-pass in the New York countryside (yes all you naysayers, New York does so have a countryside) via NY Hwy 8. You should all know NY8 is gorgeous, full of fall scenery, babbling brooks, hamlets, towns, and villages. It is also GOD AWFUL LONG. And it goes all the way through the Adirondacks. Which is kind of cool anyway because now I have been to four mountain ranges in addition to the two islands I picked up in Niagara.

But that isn't the point. The point is, they do not build their roads through the mountains...no...they go around them. Around and Around and Around them. We drove from 10:00 until 7:30. No stopping to shop or eat, especially not to eat, but we only had time to gas up and pee. That's it, the rest of the time was convincing ourselves this was the path we would have chosen had we bothered to choose a path.

I mean it was quaint, and charming, and extravagant in the colors (which you will see when I can post the pictures) but it was also closed.  Apparently lakeside retreats in upstate New York are not much of an attraction during October. Who knew?

Oh, and there is another thing about mountain, lakeside retreats - NO CELL PHONE.  This means, no calling ahead to find a room. Which would probably have been useless simply because everyone and their third cousin apparently came to Vermont to look at the freaking trees change color. Ok, yes, that is what we came here for too. But that was secondary.

First, we are on our honeymoon and so that should count for something. And we primarily came to Vermont for the ice cream. No, not the kind of ice cream we go to KC for, the real ice cream. The kind that doesn't require a tax stamp.

Now, you got me all off track again, Anyway, we were driving along, enjoying ourselves, taking pictures, and wishing for a tall cold iced tea or a bathroom, which we didn't need so much because we never found the iced tea. When, there it was, out of the blue...a tiny little sign...it read Bridge to Vermont 4.

Hosanna...Lake Champlain never looked so lovely. Well, I never saw Lake Champlain before, and I had to check Wikipedia to be sure I spelled it right. But it was lovely and the bridge was magnificent. And we had to almost be there because it was only Vermont, right? How big can a state be if no one knows its capital and those that do, can't spell it, or pronounce it, right? Look at Iowa...I can drive to anywhere in Iowa from anywhere else in Iowa in a day. And no one knows how to spell or pronounce Des Moines (both of the Ss are silent, by the way.)

Where was I now? Ok, I was not yet in Waterbury. Oh, we decided to look for Waterbury instead of Rockingham. (where we were going only because Jillian didn't know where Weston was, remember?) Waterbury is the home of Ben and Jerry's and was bound to get us out of New  York faster than Rockingham because we actually wanted to go to Waterbury, see? And it worked. We were in Vermont at last.

So we were driving through Vermont, which is full of cows, some sheep, and for some as yet unexplained reason, a two-humped camel. But is it also lush. It looks like it was carpeted in some sort of very expensive AstroTurf. Not just the in-door out-door green plastic stuff your grandmother had on her patio either. The REALLY GOOD kind. It is also still in the mountains, although we thought that was kind of wrong because we were done with the mountains and ready to find a meal and a bed.

When we could finally get a signal - high part of one mountain, far enough away from the others to allow our cell phones to work, we discovered the problem with everyone else and their third cousins. I mean, Best Western didn't even have a room for us. But the nice young man recommended this B&B, which did have a room. And if we wanted to pay $40 dollars over the $135.00 rack rate (before taxes) we even could have a private bathroom. Except it isn't actually private. They just locked the door to the other room and don't rent it to anyone who wants a bathroom, I guess.

But that is not the interesting bit. It is like forever and ago from Waterbury. In the deep, darkest reaches of Vermont. If there were a politically correct way to tell you how dark it was, you would be very impressed.

This is important because, when Jillian told CaDiva to turn right on Pine, she turned into a pit so dark it swallowed the light from the Highlander's headlights and left us gasping for air. Seriously, it was like that scene from the Indiana Jones movies, the third one...not the fourth one that really sucked, the one with Sean Connery. You know when Indy had to pass the third trial and step into air before finding the bridge that was camouflaged? Well, yeah, it was just like that.

So, we got down the deep, dark, dank driveway into a sort of hollow among the trees and found the door to a lit building which we prayed was the B&B...and here I am, blogging to you from a game room, eating left over hard boiled eggs and microwaved popcorn.

So do you understand why I haven't posted any pictures?